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Hidden in Plain Sight: Addressing “Socially Acceptable” Bullying in Schools

Based on the research and frameworks of Dr. Geisha Glass-Abdullah

In many school hallways, a sophisticated form of aggression is unfolding—one that doesn’t involve physical fights or obvious name-calling. Dr. Geisha Glass-Abdullah defines this as “socially acceptable” bullying. Unlike impulsive playground outbursts, this behavior is strategic, resourceful, and carefully designed to stay within the bounds of school rules and social morality.

Because these actions “hide” behind a veneer of normal social interaction, they often bypass traditional disciplinary measures, leaving victims isolated and educators searching for answers.

The Challenge: Why Traditional Rules Fail

Socially acceptable bullying is “resourceful.” The aggressor understands social hierarchies and policies well enough to manipulate them. They might use strategic exclusion, subtle rumors, or “jokes” that target a peer’s insecurities without technically breaking a code of conduct. When schools rely solely on “zero-tolerance” or punishment-based systems, these subtle behaviors often go undetected or are dismissed as “kids being kids.” To stop it, we must shift from a culture of policing to a culture of invitation.

The Solution: The I-CORT Framework

Dr. Glass-Abdullah champions Invitational Education (IE) as the primary antidote to subtle aggression. By implementing the I-CORT principles, schools can create an environment where the “social oxygen” for bullying is cut off.

Intentionality: We must be deliberate in every interaction. If a school’s atmosphere isn’t intentionally inclusive, it becomes accidentally exclusive.
Care: Authentic relationships are the best defense. When students feel a deep sense of belonging, they are less likely to seek power through social manipulation.
Optimism: We must believe in every student’s potential for positive social growth. This prevents us from “labeling” students and instead encourages them to live up to high ethical standards.
Respect: True respect honors the unique cultural and personal identity of every individual, making it harder for “socially acceptable” biases to take root.
Trust: A school must be a “safe harbor.” If students don’t trust that adults will understand the nuance of subtle bullying, they will stop reporting it.

Action Steps for Educators and Parents

Redefine the Spectrum: Move beyond physical/verbal definitions. Teach students and staff about the Spectrum of Acts of Bullying, highlighting how repeated, intentional social exclusion is just as harmful as a physical blow.
Focus on Restorative Practices: Rather than just suspending a student, use restorative circles to address the harm caused. This forces the “resourceful” bully to face the human impact of their “socially acceptable” actions.
Active Supervision: Increase adult presence in “gray zones”—the cafeteria, locker rooms, and digital spaces—where social manipulation is most likely to occur.
Empower the “Silent Majority”: Give bystanders the language to call out subtle exclusion. When the social group no longer finds manipulative behavior “acceptable,” the behavior loses its power.

To address socially acceptable bullying, Dr. Geisha Glass-Abdullah emphasizes shifting from traditional punishment to a culture of “invitation” through her I-CORT Framework (Intentionality, Care, Optimism, Respect, and Trust). [1, 2]

1. Improve School Culture

A positive school culture is the primary defense against subtle, strategic bullying. [2, 3]

Implement I-CORT 2.0: Infuse Intentionality, Intersectionality, Care, Optimism, Respect, and Trust into daily interactions to ensure all students feel recognized as “able, valuable, and responsible”.
Build Communities, Not Just Classes: Use team-building and “buddy” systems to shrink the “fertile ground” where bullying thrives. Students are less likely to target those they perceive as part of their own community.
Celebrate Collective Success: Shift away from individual hierarchies by celebrating class-wide achievements and encouraging students to understand others’ perspectives. [2, 4, 5, 6, 7]

2. Train Staff and Teachers

Training must bridge the “definition gap” between adults and youth regarding what constitutes bullying. [8, 9]

Identify Subtle Harm: Train staff to recognize “relational bullying” and the strategic, resourceful tactics used in the final stages of the Spectrum of Acts of Bullying.
Reflective Practice: Move beyond unilateral rules. Teachers should use facilitated discussions to gain student insights naturally rather than imposing opinions, which has been shown to lower bullying rates more effectively.
Utilize Workshop Resources: Programs like the Youth Empowerment Support (YES) Program offer free workshops specifically designed for educators to recognize and respond to these behaviors. [3, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14]

3. Address Specific Bullies

For students using “socially acceptable” bullying, traditional discipline often fails because they haven’t technically “broken” a major rule. [11]

Understand Motivation: Address the underlying pain or lack of social skills driving the behavior. Some bullies may come from high-conflict environments and require professional intervention to break their own “downward spiral”.
Reintegrative Shaming: Focus on the harm caused rather than just the rule broken. Use restorative practices to help the aggressor feel remorse and build empathy without being permanently cast out.
Scaffolding: Provide intensive, “indicated” supports that include the youth’s family to address behavioral health concerns early. [15, 16, 17, 18]

4. Support Victims

Victims of subtle bullying often feel they have no protection because their “injuries” are psychological or social rather than physical. [8, 11]

Social Architecture: Provide “scaffolding” through teachers and peers to help victimized children gain confidence and develop new, healthy friendships.
Holistic Well-being: Prioritize emotional and physical health. A nurturing environment reduces the stress that might otherwise lead victims to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Validation: Ensure adults listen and check in often, letting the victim know the behavior is unacceptable even if it’s “socially acceptable” to others. [2, 3, 19, 20]

5. Empower Student Bystanders

Bystanders decide whether the social dynamics of a school remain benign or become adversarial. [21]

The STAC Strategies:
- Stealing the Show: Use humor or distraction to pull attention away from a bullying incident.
- Turning it Over: Report the incident to a “safe adult”.
- Accompanying Others: Approach the target afterward to show they are not alone.
- Coaching Compassion: Gently confront the bully about how their behavior might feel to others.
Overcome Moral Distress: Address the fear and “moral conflict” that keep bystanders silent by building an environment of psychological safety—a shared belief that one can take risks (like speaking up) without fear of punishment or humiliation. [22, 23].

Conclusion

Socially acceptable bullying thrives in the shadows of technicalities. By leaning into the I-CORT principles and fostering a climate of radical inclusion, we can ensure that our schools are truly safe spaces for every student to learn and grow. Together we can decrease bullying by creating safe and inclusive schools for all. Make sure you visit the Youth Empowerment Support (YES) Program website to learn more about YES and all upcoming bully prevention workshops and events.

References

[1] https://childrenandyoutheducationcenter.com

[2] https://childrenandyoutheducationcenter.com

[3] https://violence.chop.edu

[4] https://ijsra.net

[5] https://www.lindenwood.edu

[6] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[7] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[8] https://childrenandyoutheducationcenter.com

[9] https://childrenandyoutheducationcenter.com

[10] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[11] https://childrenandyoutheducationcenter.com

[12] https://steinhardt.nyu.edu

[13] https://childrenandyoutheducationcenter.com

[14] https://childrenandyoutheducationcenter.com

[15] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[16] https://aish.com

[17] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[18] https://jgjpp.regent.edu

[19] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[20] https://www.cdc.gov

[21] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[22] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov[23] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Unmasking the Silent Struggle: How Bullying Fuels Childhood Obesity, and How Empathy Can Heal

4 Sept 2026

Post by Dr. Geisha Glass-Abdullah, Children and Youth Education Center (CYEC)

Childhood obesity is a burgeoning crisis with far-reaching health consequences. While often discussed in terms of diet and exercise, a less visible but equally potent factor contributing to this epidemic is bullying. For African American children, the layers of this issue can be particularly complex, intertwined with experiences of marginalization that exacerbate the impact of bullying. This blog will explore the profound link between bullying and childhood obesity, drawing on insights from scholarly literature by African American doctors. We will then examine how the principles of Invitational Education, championed by William Purkey, Dr. Geisha Glass-Abdullah, and others, offer a powerful framework to transform school climates, reducing bullying and, in turn, potentially mitigating the rise of childhood obesity.

The Heavy Burden: Bullying’s Link to Childhood Obesity

The connection between bullying and childhood obesity is a vicious cycle. Children who are bullied, especially about their weight or appearance, often experience intense psychological distress. This stress can manifest in various ways that directly impact their physical health.

Dr. Gail Wyatt, a distinguished African American psychologist and professor at UCLA, has extensively researched the impact of stress and trauma on health outcomes, particularly within minority communities. Her work, while not exclusively focused on childhood obesity, provides a critical lens through which to understand how chronic stress—a hallmark of bullying—can disrupt physiological processes. When a child is consistently exposed to bullying, their body is in a constant state of “fight or flight.” This triggers the release of cortisol, a stress hormone known to increase appetite, particularly for high-calorie, comfort foods, and promote fat storage, especially around the abdomen.

Furthermore, the emotional toll of bullying can lead to a sedentary lifestyle. As Dr. Valerie Earnshaw, a researcher focused on stigma and health disparities, has highlighted, experiences of discrimination and marginalization can lead to withdrawal from social activities. Children who are bullied may avoid physical education classes, sports, or even playing outside with friends for fear of further ridicule or harassment. This reduction in physical activity, coupled with stress-induced eating, creates a perfect storm for weight gain.

For African American children, the weight-related bullying they experience can be compounded by existing societal biases and racial discrimination. This “double burden” of stigma can intensify feelings of shame, anxiety, and depression, making them even more vulnerable to unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating. The long-term health consequences are stark, with an increased risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and other chronic conditions impacting quality of life well into adulthood.

Invitational Education: Cultivating a Culture of CARE

So, how can we disrupt this devastating cycle? This is where William Purkey’s Invitational Education (IE) offers a transformative approach. Invitational Education is a theory and practice that focuses on intentionally creating environments that are Caring, Optimistic, Respectful, and Trusting (I-CORT) (Glass-Abdullah, 2022). It shifts the focus from what’s “wrong” with students to what’s “right” with them, emphasizing their inherent worth and capabilities.

Imagine a school where every student feels genuinely invited to learn, grow, and belong. This is the essence of Invitational Education, and its impact on bullying and, subsequently, childhood obesity, can be profound:

Reduces Bullying through Empathy and Respect: By intentionally fostering environments where all individuals feel valued and respected, Invitational Education directly counteracts the root causes of bullying. When students and staff are taught to genuinely care for one another and trust is built, the fertile ground for bullying shrinks. Children are less likely to target peers they perceive as part of their “community” and more likely to intervene when bullying occurs.
Enhances School Climate and Engagement: A positive school climate, characterized by I-CORT principles (Glass-Abdullah, 2022), makes students feel safer and more comfortable. This increased sense of security encourages participation in all aspects of school life, including physical activities. When children feel accepted and supported, their stress levels decrease, making them less likely to turn to unhealthy eating as a coping mechanism.
Promotes Holistic Well-being: Invitational Education recognizes that academic success is intertwined with emotional and physical well-being. By prioritizing a nurturing and encouraging environment, schools can support students in developing healthy self-esteem and positive body images. This holistic approach empowers children to make healthier lifestyle choices, not out of shame or fear, but out of a genuine desire for self-care.
Empowers All Stakeholders: Invitational Education is not just for students; it extends to teachers, administrators, and parents. By inviting everyone to contribute to a positive school culture, it creates a collective responsibility for well-being. Educators who feel respected and optimistic are better equipped to identify and address bullying, while parents who feel trusted are more likely to partner with the school in supporting their children.

A Call to Action: Healing Through Connection

The impact of bullying on childhood obesity, particularly within vulnerable communities, is a silent crisis that demands our attention. By drawing on the wisdom of African American scholars who understand the nuances of stress and health disparities, we gain a clearer picture of the problem. And by embracing the principles of Invitational Education, we find a powerful pathway to healing.

Creating schools where every child feels seen, valued, and safe is not just about preventing bullying; it’s about nurturing an environment where all children can flourish physically, emotionally, and academically. It’s about empowering them to choose health, not out of a reaction to pain, but out of a foundation of self-worth and belonging. By investing in Invitational Education and the framework of I-CORT in educational settings, we invest in a healthier, more compassionate future for all our children.

Click here to learn more about ways you can reduces Acts of Bullying by partnering with the YES Program.

The Spectrum of Acts of Bullying

There are various types of aggressive behaviors that make up Acts of Bullying. Through trial and error, young aggressors evolve to become adult aggressors with a level of skill to repeatedly target and abuse their victims while navigating the constraint of social rules and morality that would elevate their actions to be addressed by their peers and others. As the young aggressor progresses through the Spectrum of Acts of Bullying, the repeated behaviors become more controlled, strategic, and resourceful as they evolve into adulthood. The final stage in the Spectrum of Acts of Bullying allows the aggressor to target and repeatedly abuse their victims in various settings while successfully navigating the constraints of internal and external policies and laws (Glass-Abdullah, 2022).

Definition of Acts of Bullying

Acts of Bullying are repeated negative behaviors that target a person or a group of people with the intent to cause harm that is physical, verbal, financial, social, psychological, or emotional.
Acts of Bullying causes the person or group to suffer physical, mental, emotional, or financial illnesses or injuries (including loss of life) (Glass-Abdullah, 2022).

Citing this source: Glass-Abdullah, G. (2022). A Conversation About Bullying: The Spectrum of Acts of Bullying. October 4, 2022.

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